"Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this son of Stiles/No, it will not be a winter of discon-tent, but rather the moose will tear shit up like none other."

We started things off with a resounding roar, as the feeble nonsense that is Trumbull college forfeited to our men's volleyball team, as well as our women's hoops. They got their rear ends pounded all over the court by badasses Perrin Doniger '05 and Elisa Bramble '05.

However, both teams held festive intra-squad games. The Lanman Center rang with the sounds of Ryan "I'm the only person-from Kansas in Stiles" Raybould '05, Jason "I'll give you a" Sclar '05, and Mike "I somehow scored an intramural touchdown against Harvard" Menitove '05 smacking the ball around. Valerie "The Bone" Barbon '05 practiced her jump-shot, draining so many three-pointers that the net had to be replaced. Vanessa "The Yale" Herald "Is the campus publication that covers IMs" '02, newly liberated from her varsity sport, presided over the volleyball team (which she coaches expertly) and was also seen working on her tomahawk dunks.

Before break, Sam Gralla "If ya hear me" '05 finished a fine season in men's soccer, scoring a last-minute goal against Saybrook in a, ahem, "spirited" contest. His goal netted a tie for a Stiles team that was playing with four fewer players than Saybrook by game's end, so the end result certainly felt more like a victory than a tie for the Stiles faithful.

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering, the Stiles men's football team continued its four-year reign of dominance with a CU Buffaloes-esque 36-6 thrashing of Harvard's IM football champion, Adams House. During the game, we never once said "scoreboard," not only because that is one of the lamest things one can say in reference to athletic competition (second only to "nanny-nanny-boo-boo"), but because there exists no scoreboard in reference to IMs. The proper taunt, if one were to stoop that low, would be to repeat "The Current Tyng Cup Standings for 2001-2002 as represented in HTML" 70 times. Doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

Finally, in the true spirit of burying the hatchet in the Stiles-Saybrook Intramural rivalry, I offer a joke (nothing heals wounds like humor, eh?): what does the average Saybrugian IM player get on their SATs? Drool.

(Compiled by Chris Brown.)

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