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'Silliman
When it comes to winter, nobody messes with Silliman. The red, green, and gold does winter better than any other college—and if you don't believe me, check out our courtyard when it snows—and that doesn't change on the court. Silliballers will be hittin' A, B and C hoops with unmatched ferocity and are guaranteed to rack up quite a few wins in the process. As part of Silliman's new Whoop-Ass program, following each contest, instead of screaming, "Rah, rah, Timothy Dwight," each and every Silli-All-Star will holler, "Rot in hell, O scurrilous blasphemers," or words to that effect. A no-rules brawl will then ensue, win or lose.Additionally, our volleyball teams will not leave the court (again, win or lose) until every opposing player has a volleyball imprint on his face from having taken a hard spike at the net. If this means the Sillimafia will have to track down every member of every other college for a good old "face-balling," then so be it; they have not been known to shy away from similar operations in the past. Led by Sean "Kic" Kass '04, Silliman plays the most bone-crunching, lung-piercing, irregular heartbeat-causing brand of hockey out there, and our swimmers will find themselves in the perfect environment for some old-school drownings.
As for inner tube water polo, this year, thanks to alumni donations, Silliman has a fleet of booby-trapped inner tubes which, when activated, will seek out, surround, and strangle the chosen target. (If you're not in Silliman, expect your name on that list.) As they die, opposing players will have to witness Silliathletes raining goal after goal on the opposition. What a way to go.
In short, Silliman has an anger management problem. And the rest of Yale is going to help us solve it. Whether they like it or not.
Oh, and if you intend to take us on in bowling, find a good podiatrist. The advance work will pay off. Trust us. (Compiled by an escaped mental patient.)
All materials © 2001 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
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