Smack Zone

Hammond

It's week 10 of Smack, and I'm still waiting for Kevin to do something exciting. The guy lives across the hall from me, and I still have yet to see him do anything even bordering on fun. Luberda, however, easily fills her quota for ridiculous behavior. This week's Rachel sighting: a stumbling, screaming, drunken pre-Casino Night performance. My Cards extend their winning streak to six against Houston ($2,000), and Luberda's Bears fall to my Packers ($1,000). Last Week: +$1,700. Current Balance: $11,500

Luberta

Hey, Hammond sure made his rounds at Casino Night last weekend. But, just like his performance at the auction, Kenny left empty-handed. Boo hoo. Tran, however, stayed away from the tables. Not a surprise, really. Have you seen his performance, or rather lack thereof lately—in Smack that is? In the sports world, there are some huge games coming up this weekend. In the Chicago/Green Bay showdown, count on the Miracle Bears to trounce Hammond's Packers ($1,000). And the Bulldogs topple Princeton ($200). Last Week: +$800. Current Balance $7,300

Tran

Not only did I lose 10 grand in Smack two weeks ago, but I came out of Casino Night with only my pants, my shirt, and my self-respect. That's more than I can say for Luberda. Oh, and I should also apologize to 20 rub...I mean Dolinsky, for antagonizing her last week. OU will travel to Texas and kick some ass ($4,000). The Colts will continue their win streak, even without James's help ($400). OK, since I'm in last place, I'll make a safe bet on Hammond drinking his own weight ($300). Last Week: +$2,500. Current Balance: $4,700.

Nicholas Zamiska, Guest

The century bet says that Heller's nipple will secrete bittersweet kosher chocolate milk by the week's end. Marshall's "chicken curry" secretions will blissfully mix with Heller's milky brown liquids. Ms. Dolinsky nuzzles muffs with a red-headed doe this weekend ($.84). And the news noise will surely be heard from the Russian's lips ($840). A deuce and a half says that Phuoc La is a stud, while Yale football takes Princeton. Easy money. Last Week: +$100. Current Balance: $12,700.

Nicholas Zamiska, DC '04, is growing a goatee and is a news editor of the Herald.

Back to Sports...