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The ValenTyng Cup!!

You've read all about them, and now you're just dying to see how bad you are. More importantly, you want to help your college win the award for impurest of them all. This is more meaningful than IM's, more significant that GPA's. This is hardcore. So tell us your scores, and NO CHEATING! We want this to be legit.

Please remember, though, that we by no means encourage participating in lewd, lascivious, or outright illegal behavior for the sole purpose of lowering your score.

The process is simple. Take the purity test below and your score will be automatically submitted to our database. Here are the standings prior to your defilement:

Name (pseudonyms welcome):

College:
  1. had a date?
  2. had a blind date?
  3. been out on a date past 4 a.m.?
  4. danced cheek to cheek?
  5. kissed an MOS?
  6. engaged in definitely sexual activity on the first date?
  7. kissed an MOS in the horizontal position?
  8. kissed an MOS in the last three months?
  9. been french kissed?
  10. had or given a hickey?
  11. necked?
  12. necked for more than two hours consecutively?
  13. seen a naked post pubescent MOS?
  14. been seen naked by an MOS after puberty?
  15. seen a stripper?
  16. had an orgasm?
  17. had an erection, clitoral erection?
  18. been engaged or married?
  19. read a pornographic book or magazine?
  20. seen a pornographic movie?
  21. had an alcoholic drink?
  22. been drunk?
  23. used alcohol to lower an MOS's resistance?
  24. had a loss of conscious due to drinking?
  25. smoked tobacco?
  26. smoked pot or hashish?
  27. used cocaine?
  28. used LSD, PCP, heroin, or Mushrooms?
  29. used four or more recreational drugs in one night?
  30. been arrested?
  31. been convicted of a crime?
  32. massaged, been massaged by an MOS?
  33. caressed or kissed an MOS's thigh?
  34. fondled a girl's breast, had your breasts fondled?
  35. fondled an MOS's butt?
  36. fondled an MOS's genitals?
  37. had your genitals fondled?
  38. had an orgasm due to manipulation by an MOS?
  39. manipulated an MOS to orgasm?
  40. showered bathed, jacuzzied or saunaed with an MOS?
  41. gone coed skinny-dipping?
  42. undressed or been undressed by an MOS?
  43. had sexual intercourse?
  44. had sexual intercourse more than ten times?
  45. had sexual intercourse with a virgin?
  46. had sexual intercourse outdoors?
  47. had sexual intercourse three or more times in one night?
  48. had sexual intercourse in three or more positions?
  49. had sexual intercourse in a car?
  50. had sexual intercourse with two MOSes within 24 hours?
  51. had sexual intercourse using a condom?
  52. had sexual intercourse during menstruation?
  53. had sexual intercourse at the MOS's parents' house?
  54. had sexual intercourse with 3 or more people seperately?
  55. had sexual intercourse continuously for 1/2 hour?
  56. had sexual intercourse within the last three months?
  57. had anal intercourse?
  58. purchased contraceptives?
  59. (arranged, had), an abortion?
  60. traveled over 100 miles for the sole purpose of intercourse?
  61. described a sexual experience to a third party?
  62. spent the night in an MOS's room?
  63. slept with an MOS?
  64. committed statutory rape?
  65. been propositioned by a prostitute or a pimp?
  66. accepted?
  67. engaged in cunnilingus?
  68. engaged in fellatio?
  69. gone 69?
  70. tasted semen?
  71. unintentionally interrupted a couple in a state of undress?
  72. masturbated?
  73. masturbated with another person in the room?
  74. masturbated to a picture?
  75. been caught masturbating?
  76. watched another person masturbate?
  77. simulated intercourse with an inanimate object?
  78. been propositioned by a homosexual?
  79. accepted?
  80. picked up a strange MOS for sexual purposes?
  81. experimented sexually before puberty?
  82. had a V.D. test?
  83. had V.D.?
  84. shacked up with an MOS for a month or more?
  85. committed an act of exhibitionism (moon, streak, flash)?
  86. engaged in intercourse in a public place?
  87. engaged in intercourse with an unconscious person, while conscious?
  88. impregnated a woman, been pregnant?
  89. committed incest?
  90. engaged in group sex?
  91. fondled a pre-pubescent MOS when your were post-pubescent?
  92. engaged in transvestitism for sexual enjoyment?
  93. been masturbated by a member of the same sex?
  94. orally stimulated a member of the same sex?
  95. used a form of sexual lubricant?
  96. engaged in bondage?
  97. engaged in sadomasochism for sexual enjoyment?
  98. committed an act of voyeurism?
  99. visited an orgy parlor?
  100. committed bestiality?
This disturbing set of questions comes courtesy of Armory.com. Despite what you may have heard, there is no way we could be this digusting on our own.
All materials © 1999 The Yale Herald, Inc., and its staff.
Got any questions, comments, or advice? Email the online editors at online@yaleherald.com.
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